Today it occurred to me that the second and third babies (Next One and Next Next One, per George’s nomination) will be born in the same year, and one will be a boy and one will be a girl, just like Sara and Allen (although in the other order). And then it occurred to me that I am once again treating the babies as if they will be cousins, when in fact they will be the children of cousins, which are actually second cousins, I believe. Which led me to the thought that if I imagine the babies as cousins, then I am in some way imagining The Cousins (my cousins, plus my sister and myself) as siblings.
I guess The Cousins are pretty close. And by “The Cousins” I really should say “The Six” since I mean only my cousins on my mom’s side. I had this idle thought – when people ask you to put someone down as your emergency contact, it’s normal for you to put your parents, or your older sibling, or your spouse. When we needed to have two emergency contacts for school, or one emergency contact that wasn’t your parent, I would always put my aunt. On the one hand, it was a logical emergency contact because she was an adult and she lived nearby so if someone was needed to come get me or something, she would be in the vicinity (oddly this applies to both to my eryi – when I was in NorCal- and my da-ayi – when I lived in SoCal).
Nowadays nobody asks me to list emergency contacts. But I was thinking, if I did need to list someone, first I would put Mike. But if asked to list a second, I would probably list Sara. Again, this is because she lives in the area and could probably come to get me if that were necessary. But I have never heard of someone putting their cousin as their emergency contact. I mean, I’m sure people do it all the time, especially if they’re relatively close to their cousins (like we are), or if their cousin lives in the area.
But for some reason, “cousin” sounds so…distant to me. It sounds even further removed than “friend.” In my imagination, people are more likely to put down a friend as their emergency contact than their cousin. Maybe this is because not many cousins live in the same city? Whereas you make your friends in the city you live in, so they usually live relatively close by. I had this fantasy that I would be dawdling over an emergency contact form, and I would put for “relationship” next to Sara’s name: sister.
But honestly honestly, I don’t think of her as my sister. May is my sister, and it’s a very different relationship than the one I have with Sara. Even when I try to imagine a family like Marilyn’s, with seven siblings, I imagine that her relationship with her siblings is closer than my relationship with my cousins. Maybe you’re not equally close to all of your siblings in such a big family, but maybe still closer than another person’s cousins, even if that person were close with their cousins?
I think of Amara as my niece. But even though Sara refers to me as Amara’s “auntie,” I don’t think she sees me having the same relationship with Amara as Gina has with Amara. And that’s fine with me, and natural. But I don’t think that when I tell other people that I’m going to visit “my niece” that I’m just saying that to simplify matters. (Although when I’m talking to people who know I have a sister, I do usually say “my cousin’s baby” so that they don’t get too shocked.)
This doesn’t have a point. I just had thoughts and wanted to put them down.
I wonder how close normal people are with their cousins. “Normal.” Right.
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